Where’s the Fun? How Sexual Wellness Brands Are Failing Women Over 40—and What Needs to Change
Fancy client Lion's Den embraced an older demographic and saw sales soar
Why Sexual Wellness Marketing Fails Women Over 40
Women between 40 and 60 aren’t slowing down; instead, they’re waking up. They’re stepping into their power, letting go of preconceived notions of what middle age should be (or could be!), and yes, ohh yes!, reclaiming their pleasure. So why does the sexual wellness industry still talk to them like they’re broken (if they talk to them at all)?
These women have money, and after years of focusing on everyone else, they are now investing in themselves. Women over 50 control more than $15 trillion in global spending and contribute $22 billion annually to the U.S. health and wellness category alone. Yet when it comes to sexual wellness for women over 40, and especially sexual pleasure, they remain drastically underrepresented—visually, verbally, and emotionally.
Most of the brands speaking to this demographic focus on fixing problems. Vaginal dryness. Pelvic tone. Hormonal shifts. And sure, those are real needs. But when every product aimed at women 40+ is about soothing or solving, it sends a clear message: You’ve moved beyond desire, past pleasure. Now you're just trying to stay functional and stop the slippery slide downhill.
The truth? Women in midlife are having some of the best sex of their lives—because they finally know what they like, they’re done faking it, and they’ve stopped caring about the performance and started caring about the experience. Maybe they’re in relationships that feel safer, or maybe they’ve finally learned to speak up for what they want. There’s no more worrying about getting pregnant or tiptoeing around someone else's ego. The kids are older (or gone), the self-consciousness has eased, and the BS filter is fully in place. Women want toys, not just treatments. Joy, not just lubrication. But too many brands are still stuck in a fear-based loop of “Let’s not freak anyone out” when it comes to showing older women in sexy, fun, exploratory contexts.
The Age Gap in Sexual Wellness Branding
Most sexual wellness products for midlife women are still positioned as "fixers": they treat dryness, tone, and pain. The tone is clinical, medical, or whisper-soft, not joyful, sexy, or fun. Even "inclusive" brands that do a great job of representing gender or racial diversity stop short when it comes to age. There are plenty of hands, plenty of minimalist packaging shots, but rarely do we see any acknowledgment of a 50-year-old woman embracing that part of her life.
It’s not just a visual gap. It’s emotional. Without seeing someone who looks like you, many women feel like these products aren’t for them. Women miss out on products that could benefit them in a multitude of ways, and the brands miss out on a huge population of consumers who could benefit their bottom line.
What Midlife Women Actually Want from Pleasure Products
If you're a woman 40+, there’s very little in this space that speaks to your joy. Your curiosity. Your intimacy as discovery rather than decline. Women 40–60 want design-forward toys, yes. But they also want to see themselves reflected. And I don't just mean their needs, I mean their desires.
They want to feel:
Seen: in visuals that represent their real bodies, wrinkles and all.
Spoken to: with copy that’s bold, smart, sexy and not dipped in euphemism.
Supported: by products that are easy to use but still make them feel desirable.
Celebrated: not just tolerated.
Why Serving Women 40–60 Is the Biggest Missed Opportunity in Sexual Wellness
Midlife women control massive wellness spending and are often just hitting their sexual stride. They want tools that support their pleasure now.
To be clear, it's not about developing a whole new brand just for aging women. No one wants to have “old lady sex” with “old lady products.” No one wants solutions that feel like compromises. Women want sex to feel like a natural, continuous part of life, throughout life. The brands that truly understand this will design not just for a stage of life, but for the full arc of it—because pleasure isn’t something we age out of.
The brand that combines beautiful product design with joyful storytelling and real representation will win the hearts, wallets, and loyalty of midlife women everywhere.
